There are two ditches, both uncomfortable.
One is to succeed, to expand into your potential, and then become alone because other people don’t understand that you still need love, support and connection.
The other is to stay small and secure, to not risk loosing love and support because of your strength.
I think about the third alternative where we can be both strong and successful, sensitive and in need of support, brilliant and independent, stuck and in need of help. We don’t need to be either or, we can be everything that a person can be.
So how does a strong and successful person get the love, support and connection he needs? He vulnerably shows what he needs when he needs it. She courageously tells others that she needs them. He includes a need for support, love and connection in his self image and this allows him to be a great man who also is humbly human. She courageously dares to be great and successful, and vulnerably shows her need of love and support.
How does a person who stays small dare to be great without loosing support?
In the same way. He shows what he needs. If he fears that others will abandon him if they feel inferior to him, he can ask them to stay and support him when he bravely tries. She can admit her fear so that it doesn’t own her. She can ask others to salute her for daring.
If we are emotionally transparent and non judgmental towards ourselves, life gets so much easier. We never need to choose between being grate or getting love and connection. Envy can make us think so. Envy can make others lose sight of love. So, we need to tell each other what we need and ask for it.
Of course we can ”be strong in ourselves” or ”believe in ourselves”; that’s important too. If we don’t, we will be dependent of the confirmation from others. My message is about the beauty and possibilities of a courageously shown vulnerability where we let other people know that they matter to us, where we can be both strong, independent persons and in need of support, love and connection. We can be proud of both or whatever other need we have.